Penguins are very modest creatures, which is a tremendous problem. You see, up in the Arctic there are no public restrooms. Not even a tree to hide behind.  So when penguins have to, uh, "take care of business," they sometimes must hike for miles to find something to hide behind. Sadly, many penguins have made the mistake of going behind a mound of snow that turned out to be a polar bear. If you ever see a polar bear with a patch of yellow fur, chances are there's a dead penguin nearby.

But before we depress you further, let us tell you about the wonderfully goofy candy.

POOPING PENGUIN

He's a little penguin with a red-and-white scarf and hat. When you push down on his scarf, he poops out a brown jelly bean. (relax -- it tastes like cola)

The Pooping Penguin comes in a little display box as shown on the left. This includes 18 Jelly Beans. To fill your penguin, you lift up the penguin's hat and load him with the candy poop. (That's a sentence we never thought we'd write.)

The Pooping Penguin is adorable, in a disgusting kind of way.  He'll bring you hours of fun, so long as you keep him away from polar bears.