MARSHMALLOW BLASTER

The world would be such a better place if all bullets were replaced by marshmallows. Deer would be able to frolic without a care in the world. Soldiers could go into the battlefield with nothing to worry about except cavities. And Dick Cheney's hunting buddies could rest peacefully the night before a hunt.

This amazing new toy takes the world one step closer to that marshmallow-armed society we all dream of.

The MARSHMALLOW BLASTER uses fluffy, tasty marshmallows as ammunition. They might be harmless, but they really pack a lot of ooomph!

The Marshmallow Blaster is like a pumped-up candy bazooka. Pop in a regular-sized marshmallow, pump it up a few times, then pull the trigger. Using state-of-the-art marshmallow compression technology, this high-powered contraption will shoot the marshmallow up to FORTY FEET! 

Marshmallows not included, because they might get stale in our warehouse. And you wouldn't want to shoot someone with a hard, stale marshmallow, would you? (get that smirk off your face)