Sperm Bank

SPERM BANK

There just aren't enough sperm-themed products on the market. Hardly a day goes by where Marni in the front office doesn't get a call like this:

MARNI: Hello, Stupid.com. This is Marni.
CALLER: Uh, yes. I'm looking for a sperm-themed gift.
MARNI: Uh, excuse me? Can you repeat that?
CALLER: I need a gift for someone.
MARNI: But did you say something about "sperm?"
CALLER: Yes, I need a gift with a sperm theme. It can be shaped like a sperm. Or have little sperms on it. Or a book or something that's about sperm. Maybe some sperm toys or...
MARNI: Okay, okay. I understand.
CALLER: Or a sperm-shaped something-or-other.
MARNI: Enough with the sperm, already!!!
CALLER: You don't have to shout. Do you have anything like that?
MARNI: No.

Well, we're finally caving in to popular demand by offering this Sperm Bank. This precious little bank is made of ceramic and looks like everyone's favorite swim star. You can look at this as really cute or really offensive. If you see it as really cute, you'll probably want to buy one of them. If you see it as offensive, you'll probably want to buy many of them.