Whoopee Cushion

Here's some food for thought:

The Whoopie cushion (also called a "Poo-Poo" or "Raspberry" cushion) was first invented in 1873 by a rebellious Victorian-era English noble woman as a way to repel unwanted suitors. She’d bring with her wherever she went, and if she lost interest in the man she was talking to, she’s just sit down real hard – and problem solved!

Okay, so that story was totally fake, but so are a lot of things in life, so get used to it. And while you’re at it, take a note, ladies, from our make-pretend “noble woman” and get yourself one of these Whoopie cushions the next time you go out with your girlfriends to a crowded bar full of Barneys. When that drunk toothless guy asks you to dance, you’ll can thank us!