Jesus Shaves Mug

Place: The Pearly Gates
Time: sometime in the future

ST. PETER: State your name, please.

MR. STUPID: Mister Stupid.

ST. PETER: So, Mr. Stupid, you want to come into Heaven, do you?

MR. STUPID: Um, uh. Considering the alternative... yeah.

(Mr. Stupid begins to walk through the gate. St. Peter hooks him around the neck with his shepherd's crook.)

ST. PETER: Not so fast, Stupid. It says in my book you sold funny things for a living.

MR. STUPID: Well, yeah. Toys. Candy. That sort of stuff.

ST. PETER: Just toys and candy? No, uh... coffee mugs?

MR. STUPID: (getting nervous) I don't recall.

ST. PETER: Well, everything is in my Book. And according to the book, you sold something called the Jesus Shaves Mug.

MR. STUPID: Oh, THAT!

ST. PETER: Yeah, that. Perhaps you can tell me how it works.

MR. STUPID: Why don't you just look it up in your "book"?

ST. PETER: Listen, Stupid. Crack wise with me again and I'll send you to hell right now.

MR. STUPID: Sorry. It's a beautiful, extra-large ceramic coffee mug. And on it is a stunning picture of Jesus.

ST. PETER: That's it? Nothing else, well,  special about it?

MR. STUPID: Wait, let me think... Oh, yeah. Jesus is holding a scissors and razor. When you pour in hot water, his beard disappears! Isn't that funny?

ST. PETER: (not smiling)  Hilarious.

MR. STUPID: Get it? Jesus Shaves -- disappearing beard. Saves---shaves--- get it?

ST. PETER: Oh, I get it.

(St. Peter takes a Jesus Shaves Mug from under his robe and hands it to Mr. Stupid.)

ST. PETER: Maybe you can demonstrate it for me.

MR. STUPID: Now? I'll need some hot water.

ST. PETER: How hot?

MR. STUPID: Well, the hotter the better.

ST. PETER: I think that can be arranged.

(St. Peter presses a button, and the cloud under Mr. Stupid's feet disappears.  He plummets into the abyss.)