|
ST. PETER: State your name,
please.
MR. STUPID:
Mister Stupid.
ST. PETER: So, Mr. Stupid,
you want to come into Heaven, do you?
MR. STUPID:
Um, uh. Considering the alternative... yeah.
(Mr. Stupid begins to
walk through the gate. St. Peter hooks him around the neck with his
shepherd's crook.)
ST. PETER: Not so fast,
Stupid. It says in my book you sold funny things for a living.
MR. STUPID:
Well, yeah. Toys. Candy. That sort of stuff.
ST. PETER: Just toys and
candy? No, uh... coffee mugs?
MR. STUPID:
(getting nervous) I don't recall.
ST. PETER: Well, everything
is in my Book. And according to the book, you sold something called the
Jesus Shaves Mug.
MR. STUPID:
Oh, THAT!
ST. PETER: Yeah, that.
Perhaps you can tell me how it works.
MR. STUPID:
Why don't you just look it up in your "book"?
ST. PETER: Listen, Stupid.
Crack wise with me again and I'll send you to hell right now.
MR. STUPID: Sorry. It's a beautiful, extra-large ceramic coffee mug. And
on it is a stunning picture of Jesus.
ST. PETER: That's it?
Nothing else, well, special about it?
MR. STUPID: Wait, let me
think... Oh, yeah. Jesus is holding a scissors and razor. When you pour in
hot water, his beard disappears! Isn't that funny?
ST. PETER: (not
smiling) Hilarious.
MR. STUPID: Get it? Jesus
Shaves -- disappearing beard. Saves---shaves--- get it?
ST. PETER: Oh, I get it.
(St. Peter takes a Jesus
Shaves Mug from under his robe and hands it to Mr. Stupid.)
ST. PETER: Maybe you can
demonstrate it for me.
MR. STUPID: Now? I'll need
some hot water.
ST. PETER: How hot?
MR. STUPID: Well, the
hotter the better.
ST. PETER: I think that can
be arranged.
(St. Peter presses a
button, and the cloud under Mr. Stupid's feet disappears. He
plummets into the abyss.) | 
