Republican Magic Dream Mug

REPUBLICAN DREAM MUG

"Uncle Cheney, tell me a story."

Once upon a time, Vanesa, there was a confused kingdom.

Was it a bad kingdom?

No. Not all of it. You see, the good people lived in the Red States. But the bad people lived in the Blue States.

What did the people in the Red States do?

They went to see the Mighty Wizard.

Did he live in a cave?

No, he lived behind a bush. And the Wizard created a Magic Mug. It contained like a map of the whole kingdom, including all the Good Red States and all the Evil Blue States.

What did the Magic Mug do?

When they poured in hot water, all of the Blue States turned Red.

So the whole kingdom turned good?

Yes, but only as long as they keep hot water in the mug. Otherwise, the Blue States will return.

Oh, no. I'm scared Uncle Cheney.

Don't be, Vanesa. Because if there's one thing the rulers know, it's how to keep the Kingdom in hot water.