Monster Spray

It really makes no sense to hire a professional monster exterminator when this economical solution is available.

For just a few bucks, Monster Spray is guaranteed to rid your house of banshees, zombies, ghosts, vampires, centaurs, and maddofs. Think how soundly your kids will sleep, knowing that Mom and Dad have made their bedroom safe and secure. Naturally, for non-monsters, this stuff is perfectly safe -- but it has been known to blind a cyclops. Plus, Monster Spray is delightfully scented. (Which comes in handy, because most monsters stink to high heaven. Yechhh!)

Each bottle contains 4 Fluid Ounces of Monster Spray, enough to rid the average bedroom of 7 werewolves, 9 mugwumps, 2 hydras, or one internet copywriter searching for a closing joke.