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A great
woman once said, "Love is a battlefield." And she couldn't be
more right. It's
a tough world out there... between dating, and work, and dating, and
errands, and dating... life can eat you alive. To compete in the real
world, you gotta be equipped. And
that's where the Miss Army Knife comes in. It's
a complete field artillery kit that looks like an innocent Swiss Army
Knife. But it contains everything you need to survive rough terrain or
rough dates. The
Miss Army Knife opens every which way and includes the following indispensable
tools...
| flashlight |
perfume
bottle |
| keychain |
bottle
opener |
| needle
& thread |
screwdriver |
| safety pin |
scissors |
| corkscrew |
ruler |
| mirror |
nail file |
| pen |
pill box |
| tweezers |
knife |
 It's
brilliantly designed and built to last. The uses are endless -- use the
knife to carve your lover's initials on a fence post. Use the nail file to
file it away once you dump him. Use the perfume bottle to attract a
replacement. Use the flashlight to show him the door when you dump him.
About the only thing you can't do with it is use the needle &
thread to mend your broken heart.
The Miss
Army Knife makes a wonderful and thoughtful gift, which makes us wonder
what it's doing on this stupid website.
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