| One of the saddest things in the world is an Orphaned Beer. The next time you're at a party, look around and see for yourself. There are cans of Bud stranded on bookshelves, bottles of Miller marooned on fireplace mantels, and even cans
of Coors abandoned on toilet tanks. It breaks one's heart. But you can help put a stop to this with the fantastic Beer Pager! With this brilliant device, you'll never lose your beer again!
Just put your can or bottle into holder and clip the remote onto your belt. While you are
drinking, the holder will keep your brew cold and the built in coaster lets you put it down anywhere.
But what if you forget where you put it down? Not to worry -- Just press the red button on
the remote and a powerful radio signal will seek out your beer. Red lights will flash and your the cup holder will begin to burp loudly! You can then easily track down your beer. Not only by the sounds and lights, but by the other people laughing and pointing at it! Yeah, this is one
brilliant invention. It comes in many different radio codes, so you can use a bunch of them at a party without any problems. The Beer Pager works from up to 60 feet, and even through walls. So now, thanks to
Beer Pager, the only way you can lose your beer is to drink too much of it and puke!* (*That has to be the most distasteful advertising line in the entire website. Probably we will remove it very soon.... but not yet.) | 
