How To Have An Ill-Behaved Dog

“HOW TO HAVE
AN ILL-BEHAVED DOG

Do you have a dog that --
a)doesn’t listen
b)barks incessantly
c)destroys your shoes?

No? Well, don’t despair, because this handy book will show you how to quickly turn your friendly little pooch into a menace to society.  

 “How To Have An Ill-Behaved Dog” takes the guesswork out of screwing up Rover, Spot, or Cassandra. (Did you know Cassandra was the third most popular dog name?) Inside this 191-page book, you’ll find chapters such as
"Crotch Sniffing and Beyond”
"Housebreaking Is Over rated"
”Neurotic and Aggressive Antics

You’ll learn which dogs are best suited for poor behavior. For instance, if you want a neurotic dog, get a Weimaraner. Want a an aggressive pooch? Then bring home a Doberman. And of course, if you crave an anti-social companion, the tiny Chihuahua is as hostile as it is hard to spell.